If you hadn’t already guessed, this site is about what grates my carrot. If you don’t understand what that means then you best bugger off,¬†find out, and come back with a sense of humour.

On to the topic at hand, we’ve all seen them, top knots…


There is nothing more embarrassing than looking like a twat, well, unless you don’t know that you look like a twat. Women with long hair who do top knots are safe here, but guys who shave half their head and then tie the rest up like a bin bag, well, they deserve to be slated, stoned and made fun of for ruining everything that a man has ever stood for.

I mean, at what point did any normal guy think; “hmmm, I wonder what would set off my mediocre looks and shit personality…? Ooo, I know, I’ll tie my hair up like a complete fuckwit and put lots of pictures of myself on Instagram.”¬†

So here’s my advice if you are a man thinking of growing one, DO NOT DO IT.

If you’re a lady reading this and you have a boyfriend who has one then throw him out with the rest of your rubbish.


If you actually have a top knot and you are reading this, then congratulations, you have proved that you can read, now go shave your head and really think about your life.



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